Lessons from My Mentors

I imagine that I will continually be on my path towards leadership. Leadership to me is a journey never reaching towards an end goal. Instead, it is the path. It twists, turns, intersects with other paths, diverges, and brings me back to the beginning. While on the path, I meet people, smell flowers, hear the sounds of the city, see the glowing stars of the night sky.

The people I meet on the path are people like Betsy. They are mentors. They have something to share. They seek something themselves. They walk alongside me for a portion of the path.

I meet and recognize these mentors because I see them walking on their path. Maybe we have been walking parallel for a long time, and I finally look to my right or left and notice that they too share a similar path. Maybe they are walking a path that is perpendicular to mine, and I have seen them in the distance slowly getting closer and closer. From whichever direction they are coming, one thing is constant – at some point both of our paths converge.

When these paths converge, multiple possibilities await. One is a quick greeting and acknowledging of each other on the path. It’s the “Hello, my name is…It is a pleasure to meet you” kind of conversation. Our paths diverge again quickly, and both of us have changed because of our connecting.

Another possibility is the quiet greeting. We find ourselves on the same path, nod to each other, and continue walking together silently. At some point we might say something, but it is not necessary. This mentor exists for silent support. The fact that we are walking together is the mentorship. Once again, our paths will diverge with only a nod as our good-bye.

A mentor like Betsy is someone on a parallel path. This type of mentor almost always is someone I already know – someone who has been walking on their own path, and I just haven’t seen it. I become aware of it because their path slowly starts getting closer. Then there is some incident, like the lifeboat exercise, that makes me notice them. There is a conscious shift in the relationship.

This type of mentor is someone I intrinsically trust. It is someone who points out the divots in the road, lends a hand when I fall, walks slightly behind me to see where I go. They point out forks in the road, and we discuss which ones to take. Sometimes they are together. Sometimes they are separate.

For all types of mentors, when the moment comes to go our separate ways, there a few ways it concludes. Sometimes it is slowly abrupt. It is like that moment right before warp speed where you can see everything stretching in every direction and then suddenly you are no longer where you were without your mentor next to you. Sometimes it is gradual like the branching out of an ancient bristlecone pine where time seems to stand still. The trunk of the tree is the same, and both you and your mentor grow into new branches. You are still a part of the same organism, but you experience the world differently now and somewhat independently.

One thing in common with all these mentors is that we foster each others’ values. We don’t share every single value, but there is some overlap and that overlap strengthens both of us. We grow independently together.

My current trajectory on the path has a combination of mentors. Betsy and Mrs. Bishop now walk invisibly beside me. My memories and reflections of them have called their spirit and their intention into existence. I notice thoughts, feelings, and ideas inspired by them all around me. My values of transformation, integrity, explorations, stem from them.

Mentors that silently walk alongside me are my granny, my parents, and my husband. We don’t ever need to speak of mentoring because I know they support me, love me, and transform me. They are the ones who I love unconditionally and with whom I am most loyal.

I also have a number of the “Hello my name is…” mentors. They quickly come and go on the path, and they nurture my values of gathering, convergence, and connection. Some of these mentors I will find alongside me further down the path. Some I will never see again. Some I will circle back to.

I also have a number of the final type of mentor; the kind of mentor Betsy was in my middle and high school days. They are the Margarets and Kicas of my life. They help show me other directions my path can take. They also include people like my dear friends Aldo, Michael, and Rebecca. They nurture my values of humor and joy, innovation, honesty, and exploration.

As I continue on this path, it is important that I continue to be aware of the various mentors that surround me. Each and every person I connect to in life has the possibility of being a mentor. I just need to remain open, honest, and value all that intersects my path. As the Tao Te Ching states, “If you keep your mind from judging and aren’t led by the senses, your heart will find peace.” Or you may find a mentor.