This I Believe

Dear Readers:

I recently submitted an essay to National Public Radio's This I Believe show. This I Believe is "based on a 1950s radio program of the same name, Americans from all walks of life share their personal philosophies and core values that guide their daily lives." Check them out at: www.thisibelieve.org.

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My name is Jason Wyman, and I am a youth worker. I have been a youth worker for fifteen years, and I hope to be a youth worker for the rest of my days.

I believe that youth workers are individuals that work with or on behalf of youth to facilitate their personal, social, educational, and ethical development and gain a voice and influence in society as they make the transition from dependence to independence to interdependence. I believe youth workers – after school educators, youth development professionals, parents, teachers, case managers, social workers, healthcare workers, funders, elected officials – are the hope for healing our fractured society. I believe that in order for healing to happen we have to heal ourselves.

I was asked last night “What is true for you right now?” My response: grounded. I have been on a path towards intentionality and authenticity all of my life. This path has led me many places – theater, seminary, college, AmeriCorps, college again, San Francisco, marriage. This path has forced me to try and answer “Who is Jason Wyman?” – entertainer, educator, citizen, leaner, innovator, queer. This path has no end and no beginning. And I am grounded firmly on this neverending path.

I believe I am on this path because I have always been searching for questions; because I am uncomfortable with answers. I believe this path led me to become a youth worker. I believe this path is healing me.

I look into the media’s portrait of society, and I see conflict, violence, disparity, poverty. I look into the intentions of youth workers and I see change, passion, commitment, pluralism, compassion. I look into the faces of youth and I see diversity, life, our future. And I want to support a future where all youth thrive.

I believe this future is within our reach. I believe that in order for this future to be realized we all need to discover our path of intentionality and authenticity. I believe the search for questions is the first step on this path.

And so I pose my first question, a question that was asked of me by Maura Wolfe: “What is true for you right now?”

My name is Jason Wyman, and what is true for me right now is that I believe that youth workers can heal the world.

Iterations

I hope this blog finds you in good spirits. I know mine are lifted. I am having one of those truly inspiring moments where the weather and the atmosphere converge in a preternatural way. I find myself thoroughly engrossed in the art of learning and discovery. My mind is overwhelmed observing the connections between things current, futuristic, and historic. I see the various iterations of myself and slowly they are unifying.

Once, in what seems like long ago, I wanted to be a priest. I wanted to know what devotion and commitment were. They were holy to me and therefore foreign. The idea of devotion meant sacrifice and celibacy. It meant finding places and spaces to lock things up. And you were to keep those things only between you and god and your priest. It was there, in those sins, that you found your redemption. To have no sin meant no salvation. And so you coveted those things, those pieces of yourself that you no longer know or want or even need. They become your Pandora's Box.

Now, I have opened my Pandora's Box, and I see many reflections of myself and realize that they are still me. I am still the person that wanted to be a priest. I am still the little accident prone boy. I am still the drama nerd. I am all of these iterations with all of their dreams, values, fears, and insecurities.

I am no longer in turmoil with myself over which piece of me I like more - writer; entertainer; youth worker; cook; visionary; walker; gamer; queer; world citizen; husband; friend; family member; reader. I know my insecurities and weaknesses better - self doubt; fear of vision; gossip and idle chatter; lack of focus; accident prone. I know where I am uncomfortable - boundaries; authority; identity; conflict. I have clarity of values - equity; courage; loyalty; getting things done; place and space; vision; convergence; exploration; honesty and integrity; innovation and transformation; humor and joy.

And as I look back at wanting to be a priest, devotion and commitment are no longer foreign. They are the tools I use to ignite my passion. I devote myself to becoming all iterations.

And so I ask you, my humble reader: Who are you?