Iterations
I hope this blog finds you in good spirits. I know mine are lifted. I am having one of those truly inspiring moments where the weather and the atmosphere converge in a preternatural way. I find myself thoroughly engrossed in the art of learning and discovery. My mind is overwhelmed observing the connections between things current, futuristic, and historic. I see the various iterations of myself and slowly they are unifying.
Once, in what seems like long ago, I wanted to be a priest. I wanted to know what devotion and commitment were. They were holy to me and therefore foreign. The idea of devotion meant sacrifice and celibacy. It meant finding places and spaces to lock things up. And you were to keep those things only between you and god and your priest. It was there, in those sins, that you found your redemption. To have no sin meant no salvation. And so you coveted those things, those pieces of yourself that you no longer know or want or even need. They become your Pandora's Box.
Now, I have opened my Pandora's Box, and I see many reflections of myself and realize that they are still me. I am still the person that wanted to be a priest. I am still the little accident prone boy. I am still the drama nerd. I am all of these iterations with all of their dreams, values, fears, and insecurities.
I am no longer in turmoil with myself over which piece of me I like more - writer; entertainer; youth worker; cook; visionary; walker; gamer; queer; world citizen; husband; friend; family member; reader. I know my insecurities and weaknesses better - self doubt; fear of vision; gossip and idle chatter; lack of focus; accident prone. I know where I am uncomfortable - boundaries; authority; identity; conflict. I have clarity of values - equity; courage; loyalty; getting things done; place and space; vision; convergence; exploration; honesty and integrity; innovation and transformation; humor and joy.
And as I look back at wanting to be a priest, devotion and commitment are no longer foreign. They are the tools I use to ignite my passion. I devote myself to becoming all iterations.
And so I ask you, my humble reader: Who are you?
Once, in what seems like long ago, I wanted to be a priest. I wanted to know what devotion and commitment were. They were holy to me and therefore foreign. The idea of devotion meant sacrifice and celibacy. It meant finding places and spaces to lock things up. And you were to keep those things only between you and god and your priest. It was there, in those sins, that you found your redemption. To have no sin meant no salvation. And so you coveted those things, those pieces of yourself that you no longer know or want or even need. They become your Pandora's Box.
Now, I have opened my Pandora's Box, and I see many reflections of myself and realize that they are still me. I am still the person that wanted to be a priest. I am still the little accident prone boy. I am still the drama nerd. I am all of these iterations with all of their dreams, values, fears, and insecurities.
I am no longer in turmoil with myself over which piece of me I like more - writer; entertainer; youth worker; cook; visionary; walker; gamer; queer; world citizen; husband; friend; family member; reader. I know my insecurities and weaknesses better - self doubt; fear of vision; gossip and idle chatter; lack of focus; accident prone. I know where I am uncomfortable - boundaries; authority; identity; conflict. I have clarity of values - equity; courage; loyalty; getting things done; place and space; vision; convergence; exploration; honesty and integrity; innovation and transformation; humor and joy.
And as I look back at wanting to be a priest, devotion and commitment are no longer foreign. They are the tools I use to ignite my passion. I devote myself to becoming all iterations.
And so I ask you, my humble reader: Who are you?
Labels: identity, intention, iteration, jason wyman, leadership, path, values, you
posted by Jason Wyman at
5:03 PM
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